All posts by Felix the Brett

An advocate for 8bit.

The Witcher 3 So far.

It comes with actual Paperwork!!!
It comes with actual Paperwork!!!

 

It comes with PAPERWORK!!! Unlike every other new game that comes out. So a big thanks to #Cdprojektred

 

IT’S A SINGLE PLAYER GAME FOR ONCE!! SCREAMS THANK YOU FOR NOT PUTTING DUMB MULTIPLAYER IN THIS FOR NO REASON !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

I have been playing a lot of newer games lately to try to gain a good feel for the new world outside of just playing old school games and Borderlands a lot. I had played the first 2 Witcher games prior to this one, so I really was just waiting for a good chance to have some down time to actually enjoy the story, as the other two were pretty involved. But, I wasn’t expecting how ridiculously huge this world is. I’m honestly a little put off by it, but not in a negative way. I really enjoyed the Witcher 2’s balance of a decently large world that I could eventually navigate through without using the map.

Wither 3 is almost, for me anyway, impossible to navigate without the map, or using the quick travel that has been made popular in huge sandbox titles like Morrowind titles and Fallout. (or Two Worlds…)

My main beef with this is that I haven’t found a quick medium for the map yet, or using the menu very well. There is a lot of time spent in the pause menu. I’m sure if I was playing it on PC it would be a lot more functional in that area, and I do understand the limitations of a console game with a lot of menus to access. This really isn’t that big of deal honestly. But, It gets annoying when I find a new area, finish the small quest or find the items, and then hit the select menu to save because these big world games are relentless on this next problem.

FREEZING…. For Farts sake… I love that companies spend amazing amounts of time creating a vast planet for me to travel through, but they really need to figure out a way to cut out the freeze problems. I haven’t had a lot in the Witcher 3 yet.. But that’s one of the main reasons I can never stick with these HUGE sandbox world games. But.. moving on.

I waited a while on getting this game because a lot of people I know that were playing it were mentioning a lot of glitches that hadn’t been fixed yet. After doing a small investigation into the earlier on problems. I saw that the majority of it has been fixed, but that doesn’t stop the game from having TONS of hilarious things happen all the time.

Like this guy laying in bed? when I jumped through his door in the middle of the night.
Like this guy laying in bed? when I jumped through his door in the middle of the night.

 

This is one of them that I grabbed a photo of. I should have taken a few. This entire family were all floating in the air asleep. They were supposed to be in beds I’m sure, but there was only one bed in the house, and it was a family of 5. I laughed pretty hard, and then saw the Dad sleeping in the Stove.

There are a lot of these I’ve noticed throughout the game that don’t really bleed any problems into the mechanics at all. But some of the really obscure ones happen when you leave the menu, or die and the game reloads.

Once my game loaded and Geralt (your main character) was just jumping up and down and wouldn’t stop. I laughed for a about 20 seconds before I had to quit out, and go back in the game. Sometimes when you leave the main in game menu. Roach (your horse) will instantly toss me off of him. (which happens when it’s fear meter gets to high while surrounded with baddies). AND the worst one is when the game just decides to sit on the loading screen forever, and you have to actually power off your system and start it back up. There is another glitch that happens occasionally where your game won’t load, and you have to go into your system settings and quit out of the game and reboot it. I’ve noticed this with a few Xbox One games, but normally you can just boot another game off your hard drive and then reboot the other game. Witcher 3 sometimes doesn’t let you do that and you just waste more game time.

Now those are the crap problems I’ve had so far, and it’s literally just gripes really. I understand this game is pushing a lot of juice, and that sort of thing happens. Now, we can get to the goods.

First and foremost. If you enjoy sex scenes and nudity in your games. This one has that ready for you. So there’s that.

The plays mechanics are all in third person, which I love the old school feel of that. The only problem that falls in with this is when you get surrounded by enemies.. you’re gang banged to death, and have to wait to reload your game, and hopefully you saved before you decided to fight that stuff… or it loads your last in game save. Just a warning.

The storyline so far is fairly simple. I’m chasing after my daughter, and have no idea where she has been or where she is going, but the story line of finding her webs you into hundreds of quest to take care of, and if you are going to level up and have money.. You need hundreds of quests. And the story lines and people in the game give a large thumbs up in regards to being believable. Plus you can answer stuff how you want. Be a good proud Witcher, of just tell people you won’t help them, and be a jerk. (and not level up or get money)

There are tons of mythological monsters about which is amazing. I haven’t ran into everything the game has to offer yet and I’ve played for almost 50 hours so far. AND, I’m only like level 11 , and still haven’t even marked up 20% of the second area map yet. THIS GAME IS HUGE!!! ( It won some awards for BIGGEST GAME EVER)

 

I could keep blabbering on about all the different things you can do in the game, but I honestly haven’t even learned it all yet. I’m just now starting to get into making my own armor, swords, spells, and goods to make goods.

And I’ve got a pretty good deck of cards for the in game mini-game.

 

– I will be back for a round 2. or just a regular old full game review.

 

Thanks for reading this if you did. Pass it along to anyone that’s wondering if they should buy it or not.

FTB-

 

 

ATTACK OF THE MOVIES 3-D

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Price = $ 5-20
Players = 1-4
XBOX360 and Nintendo WII
 
HOW DOES THE GAME LIVE UP TO IT’S EXPLANATION/BOX ART? (5/10)
 
This 3-D cover explodes with all the things that you would have been excited for ten years ago. Skeletons, sharks, giant bugs, and GUNS splatter this zooming cover. But, what is this exactly?
 
Well apparently you are the only hero that can save the world when the movies come alive and start attacking the planet!
 
Now the back of the box does explain that it is a shooter and you’ll have survive/survive/survive, but if you have an untrained eye to the normal random back of the box pictures. You might not see that this game is a Rail Arcade Shooter. ( A rail shooter means, you don’t control the camera at all. You’re just hear to point and shoot)
 
P.S. Did i mention you get to wear 3-D glasses if you’d like?
 
 
 
HOW IS THE GAME PLAY? (4/10)
 
Well at first this game seems really lame and honestly it is. It doesn’t really give anything new to the arcade rail Shooter world. (Rail shooter also means you DO NOT control your character) The graphics are pretty bad, the worlds don’t look that great for this generation, and some of the ways the enemies attack are impossible to stop unless you are playing multiplayer. (Which i doubt really helps that much)
Sidenote: This game is a lot easier on the WII than it is on the Xbox 360 since you can just point your WIImote at the television and fire. So the game play scored a 8/10 on the WII.
 
 
 
HOW DOES THE GAME LIVE UP TO IT’S GENRE? (3/10)
 
Rail shooters are generally meant for arcade play. There are some great ones out there. (Time Crisis, House of the Dead) This one isn’t in the top shop for your library. It does have some pretty quick achievements if you are going for some quick score, but other than that it’s not good at all.
WII- Most of the above is the same. This game isn’t really good, unless you just want another point and fire game to play with your friends.
 
 
THE ‘GAME OVER’ ALL? (40% for XBOX360  / 53% on the WII)
 
As far as i know there is no light gun for the 360 as of yet. Probably because Rail shooters like this one are pretty dead in the water. No one really wants to play arcade style games like this anymore unless you have a gun. The reticle moves horribly across the screen causing you to miss half of your shots, and makes you annoyed more then happy.
But, on the WII the game is kind of so easy that you don’t really care, and the system already has so many games like this already.
 
When playing it multi-player it was a little bit better. But, that was probably because more people making fun of the same bad thing, is a lot more fun. 
 
arbitrary credit for gore and nudity = 0

BlazBlue Calamity Trigger

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Price = $ 10-20
Players = 1-2
Xbox360, PS3, and PC
 
HOW DOES THE GAME LIVE UP TO IT’S EXPLANATION/BOX ART? (8/10)
 
The cover of the game is an obvious fighting game. It’s got that ‘splash art’ of the characters as normal, but if you aren’t aware of what fighters generally look like, It could appear as anything to you.
When you turn the game over and check out the back, it explains everything pretty well. You will experience ‘Fantastic story’ lines. Strange that they may be. This game is very japanese, and if you aren’t used to the humor from across seas; you may be extremely annoyed with the goofy-ness of this game.
 
 
 
HOW IS THE GAME PLAY? (10/10)
 
The game plays amazingly well. It’s a lot to learn at first, since this game is made by the team that brought us Guilty Gear.
If you’ve never played that series then this is a new 2D fighter experience for you. No more just jump kicking and tripping with a few special moves to tide you over. 
Unlike the classic 2d fighters where most the characters only had about 4-6 special moves. BlazBlue is infected with crazy moves for you to learn.
It’s play mechanics are quick and it flows nicely.
 
 
 
HOW DOES THE GAME LIVE UP TO IT’S GENRE? (10/10)
 
If you enjoy games like Street Fighter, Fatal Fury, and King of Fighters this is a game for your library. It has great replay value, great multiplayer, and the online runs superbly. (If you are any good)
 
THE ‘GAME OVER’ ALL? (93%)
 
Like I said, if you love fighting games, this is perfect for you. OR-if you just love a lot of downloadable content.
Also, if you love that crazy Anime style comedy, the story mode of this game is very bizarre and hilarious.
 
 
arbitrary credit for gore and nudity = 1
(bouncing boobies and panty shots.)
 

HALO combat evolved!

HaloFront
HaloBack
Price: $10-20
Players: 1 (16 for online multiplayer)
One of the most popular games of all time. If you don’t know what Halo is, you’re probably over 50, don’t have kids, and don’t read anything, like, ever.
COVER ART/SCREENSHOTS/BOX EXPLANATION (10/10)
No surprises here. Bungee is a solid company, and knows how to polish its products. The box looks cool, the back shows what’s going on, and even makes absolutely sure you know you’re going to have access to a big stinkin’ rocket launcher by posting Master Chief looking all tough with one on the back. It’s not even an inlay. He’s just busting out of the back ready to frag some aliens.

Now, I remember when I first saw this box. It was during a time when I was too focused on work and sleep to do much else, but I would stop into E.B. Games here and there to see what was new. I hadn’t seen any previews of the game in magazines, but I had heard whispers during my previous visits about how cool it looked, this and that. When it finally came out, I looked at the box, turned it out… meh. It looked just like every other shooter, except it had vehicles. Hadn’t vehicles been done? Tribes had them, right? Yeah. And that was it. I didn’t have an XBOX anyway, and I still had to beat Disgaea. Consider it paranoia, if you will, but I’ve been fooled by box art with cool guns before (Daikatana, you bastard). In the FPS world, there are huge variables that do NOT consist of graphics, plain and simple. Still, when I got around to it, I didn’t feel like Halo lied to me in the slightest… at least not by the box.
 
GAME PLAY (6/10)

I actually played Halo about three years later. More actively involved in games thanks to a circle of friends who regularly gathered to play Puzzle Fighter, Marvel VS Capcom 2, and Timesplitters 2. I had finally picked up an XBOX a year earlier thanks to the persuasive Ninja Gaiden being released, and my buddy Tyler had a copy, so I figured I’d see what the fuss was about.

Let me start by saying this; I really wanted to like Halo. I tried putting my issues aside. I tried to laugh at the stupid little aliens screaming when I killed their boss. It wasn’t enough.
 
Halo is, and always will be, a mediocre game. The story is a decent little space opera, but there have been better. The controls are tight… but they should be, because Bungee had been around for years, and as a small company with decent funding, their quality should always be better that those larger companies whose crazy timelines and bulky management tend to erode the game more than help. Everything that could excel simply did not.
 
I thought we’d worked out a long time ago that shooting a gun should look and, more importantly, feel good. Remember the days when we didn’t have force feedback? Or when you accidentally picked up a non-feedback controller because it was cheaper, and you didn’t read the fine print? There are still games that, despite no rumble, have weapons that are just fun to shoot, even if it’s just blank space. Every weapon in Doom, particularly the double-barrel shotgun, falls in this category, minus the pistol. Red Faction’s combat shotgun was great, and I would announce my presence in Goldeneye multiplayer by firing twin Dostovei’s wildly in the air. Blood had an awesome tommygun, Duke Nukem had the chain ripper, and so on. What do these all have in common? They felt solid. Halo’s weapons… the only way to describe them is “squishy”.
Halo is simple. You follow orders, run down a veritable track laden with aliens trying to blow your head off, and fire off your various weapons as if you were taking a casual stroll by the lake and can’t be bothered to do anything else. The graphics are good, and the enemies are creative, but everything reeks like Image comic books of 1996, i.e. everything should be great… but it has no soul.
 
I also want to fault Halo for bringing about a revolution of sorts. I can’t think of any melee attacks in FPS games prior that would kill a full-health enemy in multiplayer in two shots, max. Suspension of disbelief is alright in some cases, and I understand Master Chief is a genetic superman, but it paved the way for the exact same thing to happen all over. Call of Duty 4’s knife makes some sense in how it insta-kills, but they decided to keep that same speed as the buttstroke/pistol whip from Halo. It doesn’t make sense. And then came the laziness; in what could have been a fantastic game, this one-hit melee made its way into Transformers: War for Cybertron. There are no whirling attack chains like a mechanical God of War – no, a single whallop with a random axe, sword, or mace, leaving you vulnerable to attack as you recover is what you get. The real fault lies with those game developers, of course, but Halo made this sort of thing accessible.
I’ll gripe about one last thing before wrapping this up. Jumping up and down in combat is suicide. Gears of War did this right, as it replaced jumping with a lurching, heavy run, but because jumping is harder to track in a game than in real life, as well as sprays of bullets not really doing anything more that scratching your armor, it became a viable tactic in many Halo multiplayer matches. Now, while I could get over it in most cases, I’ve always had this issue with slow-falling. Not only do you jump about 10 feet in the air, but you fall at the same speed you left the ground. If this were an adventure on a single planet, great, lesser gravity is weeeeird, but it’s not the case. It’s the same in the sequels, in all levels, whether on a space station or solid ground. And why is there no damned run button?
 
I’ve heard before the Halo novels explain some of this weird behavior, but my as is my usual response, “Novels based on licenses often exist as nothing more than a way to cover missteps by conveniently backtracking and explaining away their faults.” Had the game not been a hit, as I’m assuming most parallel galaxies’ timelines would attest, no books would have been made. But, the truth is…
 
IN-GENRE (ACTION/ADVENTURE) SCORE (5/10)
Halo is nothing more than a “gateway” game, comparable to some pot with your high school buddies before you grow up and realize cocaine is the better drug. There are better things out there, but you’re too afraid to try them, or too biased to stick with it; maybe you’ll dabble in some Call of Duty crystal meth from time to time, but nothing beats the old familiar feelings, right?

Get over it. Every generation, mass hysteria picks a new game to faun over. Remember Final Fantasy 7, how that’s the most spectacular one in that series? Or how Mortal Kombat was the best fighting game ever made? If you believe any of these, you’ve been lied to. Look deeper.

I’ve already mentioned a plethora of great games (when talking about the squishy guns), and all of them top Halo in nearly every category. I’ll go ahead and list some more, all before Halo existed: Timesplitters 2, Alien VS Predator 1 and 2, Unreal Tournament, Quakes 1-3, Return to Castle Wolfenstein, and Strife. Still, I suppose Halo has its vehicles. And they, too, felt squishy.

THE ‘GAME OVER’ ALL? (7.0)

Like any bad habit, it’s time you all face the facts and tell your friends “No, I can’t play Halo with you anymore. Let’s play NFL 95 instead.” While I guess it’s too late, since Reach was the last Halo that Bungee will touch, it’s well time this franchise died, or at least fixed its damnable mediocrity. I STILL want to like Halo, but it just can’t happen when it doesn’t do anything well.

Unfortunately, averaging all three scores gave this wildly uninventive game a higher final score than I would care for, but a 7 is just average, after all.

ARBITRARY CREDIT FOR NUDITY/GORE: +.00
Nothing to see here. Mass market appeal… check. You win, Microsoft, you sneaky pricks.
Guest Review by: Fargascorp