Monthly Archives: July 2013

SEGA!

ALIEN 3 (Guest Review: by Fargascorp)

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Price: $3-5
Players: 1
As Ripley, make your way through a maze of corridors in a timed race to rescue prisoners trapped in Xenomorph resin, all while trying not to get eaten.
COVER ART/SCREENSHOTS/BOX EXPLANATION (6/10)
If you crash-landed on Earth and had no idea what the Aliens franchise is all about, you’d probably be a little confused as to what the back of the box has to do with the game itself. I took it as a Contra clone, myself, but running around trying to make sure you rescue everyone in a level, in addition to limited ammo, totally screw that. Still, it does mention cramped corridors and whatnot, so I’ll give it the benefit of the doubt. Naturally a picture of a chestburster on the cover doesn’t really explain much, other than it being loosely based on a franchise.
FRANCHISE VALIDITY (2/10)
As far as a movie tie-in, Alien 3 makes about as much damned sense as most other old franchise moneymakers (barring, maybe, Batman Returns), which is… almost none. I’m tempted to say it’s actually based on Aliens and the developers took too much time. It’s possible, though I can’t prove it.

See, while Lt. Ellen Ripley is in the game, and she’s in her shaven-head costume, she’s also equipped with the “I’m going to take out an entire alien hive” weapons from the climax of Aliens. That’s way more than she’d need to jack up the lone dog xenomorph from the movie… but, again, in a more Aliens-esque manner, there are hundreds of the suckers running around.

These were all sacrifices for the sake of entertaining gameplay, I’m sure, because a game based around setting up a trap to lure a single monster into a pit of molten lead would have been fun for about, oh, the five minutes it would take. The third movie sucked, anyway.

I still haven’t figured out how Ripley saves all these dudes, though. They’ve already been implanted, according to the gore that ensues when you fail to rescue them in time. I guess you just shoot ’em in the head to make sure a couple more of the aliens don’t come after you later on.
GAME PLAY (9/10)
So, I wanted a Contra and got something else. Sometimes life is full of pleasant surprises – Alien 3 is solid and intense, from the typical eeriness of a Genesis soundtrack to the rush through dark labyrinths full of speedy aliens.
First, let’s talk about limited ammo. We live in a world where, in today’s games (outside of a few rare survival horror franchises), ammo is plentiful and, for the most part, ridiculously effective. People are happy to park behind chest-high walls and unload their weapons into countless baddies, and more often than not they’re totally replenished after such a fight. Where’s the challenge? Alien 3 gives you four weapons – the typical Space Marine pulse rifle, a short-ranged flamethrower, an underslung grenade launcher, and some hand grenades. As heavy an armament this is, your pulse rifle ammo goes quick and the flamethrower goes faster. The grenade launcher takes a moment to fire, while the hand grenades obviously bounce and have a timer that means they’re not really great, aside from trick shots in ducts. While there is a lot of ammo to be had, especially in later levels you’ll be looking to double back and pick up some you previously left behind… which takes up precious time.

Time is actually what makes this game great. If all you had to do was waltz through some tunnels and blow up everything in your way, it’d be a cakewalk. Instead, you’ve got to rescue everyone on the level, and in doing that you often end up taking a one-way trip back to some other part of the level, screwing up your sense of direction. Even after you pick up the hapless suckers you have to find your way out of the level, meaning you can still fail and have to do it all over again.

Luckily, your motion tracker helps a bit, and identifies sneaky aliens that are going to come charging at you from off-screen like a freight train. Problem is, these require batteries, and there are precious few of them around. Suddenly quick reflexes are a must, and if you get hit, you’re knocked to the ground for several seconds.
There are other little details I enjoy, too. The jump “locking”, meaning you can’t divert your path in the air to avoid something you missed before you hit the button; the health damage from falling even a bit too far; my favorite, by far, is doors being destructible by grenade. It can actually save you time, as manually opened doors take a moment and leave you open to attack by aliens on the other side.
I do have a minor gripe with the sensitivity of ladder dismounting, however. You have to be perfectly level with a floor to dismount, none of that “close enough” that we’re used to from Castlevania’s staircases.
IN-GENRE (ACTION/ADVENTURE) SCORE (10/10)
As far as an action/adventure game goes, this one is right at the top in my book. Lots of platforming combined with solid shooting action and boss fights where you unload tons of grenades (“Foomp! Foomp! Foomp!”) into a bigger-than-normal badass alien and a gripping feeling that you just don’t have enough time make it one of the best in the genre.

THE ‘GAME OVER’ ALL? (9.52)

Right, I know, it doesn’t average correctly… but as far as the franchise and box art are concerned, screw off. This particular gem was kinda like finally getting the chance to punch Rev. Al Sharpton in the face, only to discover your fist gives him cancer, too; that is to say, it’s a nice surprise. I’m not one for patiently figuring out where all the hostages are, but Alien 3 makes it worth the trip. It’s atmospheric, fun, and another shining example of why the Genesis was the best 16-bit system made. While it looks dated, it still plays well, aside from a few minor quirks. If you want a game that gives you a fulfilling challenge, this is it.

…AND ANOTHER THING…
Alien 3 was made for a number of systems, just like the ones based on movies today. Game Gear, Gameboy, and Nintendo all had decent adaptations of this, but the Super Nintendo ran off and did its own thing with the license. It was long and boring, with none of the solidity and tense moments of this one. Stay away from it.

ARBITRARY CREDIT FOR NUDITY/GORE: +.02
If you run out of time, and you will at least once, you’ll see all the prisoners you didn’t rescue have
their rib cages blown out as a chestburster scurries away.
Posted by Fargascorp
News, Opinions, and Commentary

My two cents on new consoles

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While everyone deliberates which one to choose.. It pretty much falls down to Xbox or Playstation, because Nintendo is always your secondary, and the PC boys will never truly decide on one or the other. If they buy a Playstation, they are still mainly playing their stuff on a Microsoft machine. Well.. unless you are a MAC guy.. but then you really aren’t playing too much of anything… well except your Iphone games.

I will naturally end up with all three as which is normal for me, but as far as what I will buy first? I’m not completely sure anymore, per say.

As we know the Nintendo Wii U is already out, and so far Nintendo hasn’t done too much in the release department. A lot of rehashes, reboots, and re-releases. Which is what Nintendo usually does with their systems. So far, the titles are good, but we’ve already played them. Zombie U is new, but lackluster in a replay-able nature. So hopefully they will start dropping some real Love on the system. Lately they’ve been giving a lot of needed attention to the 3DS, which also just kind of festered for a while on… please Nintendo.. make something please. .. I can only play Resident Evil, Bit Trip, and Cave Story so many times… Please. And they’ve really started flooding the market on it in the last few months. So hopefully, we will start getting some amazing titles for Wii U soon.

Playstation has a few wins with a new Oddworld, Galak Z, Transistor, Deep Down, and Human Element. Which all look like fantastic titles. Oddworld games have always been amazing, so that’s really not a question. Galak Z is an amazing looking Shmup, but I already have about 50 of those I haven’t really had time to sit down with yet, and the other titles are ‘new series’, and I never trust a new series to get my attention.

They were originally releasing a lower price (with less gadgets that you’ll have to now buy separately) and a lot of promises that Microsoft wasn’t offering. But, as time passed, Microsoft already removed all the concerns people had with it, and have just announced a 10% price drop on the $499.99. So, everything people were complaining about has been hacked away.

Xbox 1 has a few wins, Ryse-Son of Rome, Killer Instinct, TitanFall, Diablo 3,  and Dead Rising 3. I personally love bloody war titles, especially anything roman related; so Ryse looks pretty awesome. Killer Instinct I could take or leave, but I’d still like to check it out. TitanFall looks amazing, but again, ‘new series’. Diablo 3 is a whatever to me, but a lot of people are excited about it, even after it’s pitiful PC love.  Dead Rising 3 is my reason to go Xbox 1 first. It was the reason I bought the xbox 360 in the first place, and will probably sway me to the XBOX first again.

But in all honesty. The reason I usually go with Microsoft is really a handle preference. I have large hands. The playstation controller has never worked well for my Thumbs, and as a Gamer.. I do enjoy vege-ing out on the couch, and enjoying a great story. Microsoft’s controller is just built for my hands, and as most ‘older’ people always complain about. “Is all the damned buttons.. I just can’t play a game with that many buttons.” I’ve always felt that the normal controller set up that both companies use just works better with the separated sticks/ different placement on the shoulder buttons. I actually had to purchase extra triggers for my ps3 controllers, just so it felt a little more natural. But, it still cramps up my hands while trying to play something.. which is really annoying.

The big titles will be releases on both. Kingdom Hearts 3, Call Of Duty Ghost, Grand Theft Auto 5, and all the Sports titles. So, these titles can’t sway anyone really.

My one concern that I haven’t seen any definite answer on. Is all my downloads for the other consoles. I’ve seen, yes you will be able to re-obtain money you’ve already spent, and I’ve seen no you won’t. So, If anyone has any information on that. I would really like to know a definite answer. I have at least 500$ in downloads on xbox and a good 200$ on Playstation. I never downloaded anything on the Wii since I still collect classics.

On a side note for handhelds. The PSP (pile of system variations) is terrible. It’s never been a good format, but it has a lot of good japanese titles that aren’t on anything else. Which hurts my pocket a bit that I have to get them, but the Vita.. I’m not paying for that thing, until it’s 20 bucks. I look at it and I think, wow that looks amazing.. but my brain says.. you won’t play ps2 on the go, and I sit it back down.

From Gameboy to Advance, to DS, Nintendo has killed the handheld department. But, I always had a soft spot for handhelds until recently. They are no longer giving me the classic 32bit titles I love to play. I believe someone needs to step in and start making amazing classic games for a new handheld. This whole Cellphone game network is cool, and it kills time at the doctor’s office or between boring meetings. But honestly, Do you really think one of these titles is going to just set your life aside, and you’ll run to your friends screaming about it’s greatness? I’d like to grab Sega by the head.. and go look… Handheld.. Now.. blow out and reprint everything that was good on all your consoles, and start fighting back. This laptop idea you are doing is stupid, cancel that project.. Handheld, do it. Team up with NEOGEO.. GET ME SOMETHING that fans LOVE! Stop making trash after trash.. you aren’t helping out the Sega cause with bad Sonic games, and 6 out of 10 star games. STOP BEING DUMB!

Okay enough handheld boohoos, back to the consoles.

I’m not trying to say, one way or the other, as to what you should buy. I’m just saying that I will get the system that has the game i’m most interested in. Which will be Dead Rising 3. There will always be hatred geared towards one or the other. People will always bitch and complain about everything involving all systems.

Remember NINTENDO!!! NO SEGA!!! Then the other people that yelled TURBO GRAFX 16!! No one yelled 3DO, Atari Jaguar, or GameCom. Ha. The point is. If you are an adult, you’ll have a preference. If you are a kid, like we all were once, you’ll love what you have, and you’ll fight it’s name to the death, but in all honesty. I never had a preference for console. I’ve always just wanted to play the games I want to play. I had a Sega and a Nintendo. I had a Saturn, Ps1, and an N64. I had a Dreamcast, Xbox, and Ps2. I currently have a Wii, 360, and ps3. I’ve always saved money and contributed it to each company, but I can tell you where my money goes in the new console wars. Microsoft generally buys out the titles I want to play, and they are released first on xbox, and you know what? I buy them again when they are released for the other consoles. You may think that’s stupid, and I’m wasting money. But, It’s not your money. It’s mine, and if I really enjoy a title. I will have it on both systems, or all three systems. These are far and in between. I”m not talking about Madden on all systems, or Call of duty on all systems. I buy the bizarre titles that most people don’t play, but the people that do, know what I’m talking about.

Buy the systems that have what you want to play, not what you think is the best way to go. If you went with the best way to go. You may have bought the NEW AMAZING INTERACTIVE CDI ! And if you did. Wow… I’m sorry for your childhood.

Felix ‘the Brett’ Prescott-

NEO GEO

The Match of The Millennium

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198682_42924_front

 

PRICE = $15-20
PLAYERS = 1 to 2
REQUIRES = for multi-player = Link cable, 2 copies of the game, 2 systems.
‘It’s History in the making when 2 premiere arcade game giants settle the score. The greatest fighters of all time will be crowned when 18 of SNK’s and Capcom’s most popular characters collide.
It’s the best of both worlds: fighters. techniques, and formats. ‘
HOW DOES THE GAME LIVE UP TO IT’S EXPLANATION/BOX ART? (9/10)
The artwork on the cover of this game is worthy to purchase on anything game related. I believe i had this image as a background on my computer at one time. But, the cover shows you what you should already know about a Capcom vs SNK game. You have a pile of fighters to use.
Now if you’ve never played a fighting game before or you wouldn’t recognize the characters. The art work would catch your attention pretty fast. Unless you just found the cartridge in which you would have no idea what the game was and you’d probably over look this fighter.
The explanation of this title does a great job if you know what you are going to be playing. If you had never played a fighter before the explanation leaves a lot to the imagination other than you will have 18 fighters to chose from.
HOW IS THE GAME PLAY? (10/10)
The game plays great for a dumbed down to handheld standards. It’s fighting style for all the characters moves are the same as they are on console. And, you can tell who every character is in their cute chibi (small) form.
It runs smooth, the moves work flawlessly, and the timing on hits is to perfection.
HOW DOES THE GAME LIVE UP TO IT’S GENRE? (10/10)
All of the Capcom Vs Snk games are huge in the tournament world if you are playing them in the arcade or on your home console. The Neo Geo Pocket on the other hand probably wouldn’t hold so many tournaments (even though you could) but the game lives up to a fighter’s excellence.
It has all the characters that are in most of the games on console. I wish there were more Darkstalkers characters in the game, but street fighter is a lot more popular, so i understand.
THE ‘GAME OVER’ ALL? (97%)
I really enjoy 2D fighters so this is a game i can go back to over and over again. Mainly because all fighters have awesome replay value. You can beat the game in about 20 minutes with one fighter, but you still have 17 more to play through the game with. Each one has his or her different fighting style and it’s fun to learn all the different moves.
I liked seeing all the tiny versions of the characters i already like, but if you’ve never played any of the games they are from this wouldn’t really please you as much as it did me.
arbitrary credit for gore and nudity = 1
(MAI’S Giant Boobs still shake in the Chibi version)
-Felix “the Brett” Prescott
Turbo Grafx 16

Keith Courage in the Alpha Zones

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ki

 

Price = 5-10$
Players = 1
‘The player controls Keith Courage. Struck by a giant meteor, the world, in the game, has been invaded by creatures from another planet. Burrowing deep within the Earth’s surface, the planet of B.A.D. (Beastly Alien Dudes) seeks to take over the world. As a member of N.I.C.E. (Nations of International Citizens for Earth), Keith’s mission is to defeat B.A.D. and bring peace to the world. Armed with a sword, Keith must first defeat the outpost guards. Then, enter the Underworld. Here Keith activates the awesome Nova Suit. A secret force left to him by his fallen father, he is half man, half mechanical monster. Nearly invincible, his sword cracks with the power of lightning, as you wreak havoc on the fearsome Dudes. His goal is to reach the Robo Zone (the seventh Alpha Zone), headquarters of B.A.D. Succeed here and the player will win the game, recapturing the Earth and restoring humanity’s place in the universe. Four friends offer Keith advice, swords, bombs, and extra lives. The player’s goal is to collect the stolen riches left behind by the invaders and buy your way out of trouble with money.’
 (Pulled from Wiki)
Note: The box art section will take a difficult route with Turbo Grafx games. They are very expensive complete, and don’t leave much information other than the front image without them. (insert sad face) but! luckily we have the internet!! yay!
 
HOW DOES THE GAME LIVE UP TO IT’S EXPLANATION/BOX ART? (6/10)
 
Unfortunately the box I have for this game has no description at all as to what it is. If you have purchased Turbo Grafx 16 games and don’t get the original slip case. It’s just kind of a guess. But from the cover.. It looks pretty awesome. Flaming sword in a prince’s hands (He’s not a prince), with a giant mech robot, and some demons. That would get my attention. But, Like I said if you find a Turbo Grafx game they generally do not have the original slip case, and the backs of the boxes without those are just black. The Hu Card itself is just blue and says Keith Courage, so if you just found that. You’d probably just buy this game because you didn’t have it and it’s very inexpensive in comparison to a lot of games for this console.
 
 
HOW IS THE GAME PLAY? (8/10)
At first glance, I wasn’t that surprised with the way the game looked, and the normal clunky bounce physics of most older style games like this. This, as most of you know, is very annoying when there are pitfalls to instant death, But after some play time you get used to it pretty fast.
The game is actually a lot of fun if you like platformers. It plays like most 16 bit games, but it feels more like a 16 bit Sega Master System game upgrade. NEC made this title, which gives it a very chibi cartoon style. But, I feel like it’s lacking in some of the HEY! I’m NOT 8 BIT! section. Not that this takes away from the gameplay at all.
I’d have to say that the normal areas with weak enemies play very well. It has the RPG store element. Where you can buy your new upgrades, heal, and so forth. But it moves a bit more smooth in these areas. One of the neat things, and one of the slight annoyances, is in the underworld area when you are in Mech form. Now this is a cool change up to the other area. Because now you can attack faster, but you move REALLY fast in comparison to Keith’s normal speed, and fall down into instant death areas. Because of.. yes. Bounce physics. It doesn’t hurt the game that much. And after you get the hang of that speed it’s not very difficult.
 
HOW DOES THE GAME LIVE UP TO IT’S GENRE? (10/10)
 
As older style platformers go. It is very reminiscent of a more colorful and slightly upgraded Sega Master System game. It is fun to play, but it doesn’t really add anything we wouldn’t have ever seen at the time. (Depending on what you played as a kid) It’s not difficult to get all your powerups because of the screen respawner. ( you can farm the crap out of money, but if you die it takes half or so away from you) So getting the new items is not a problem at all.
I wouldn’t give it any bad marks for anything that isn’t uncommon in platformers. You fall down holes and you die. That’s pretty much all of them.
 
 
THE ‘GAME OVER’ ALL? (80%)
I’d have to say being the most affordable game on the system and it actually being a fun play through. It’s a great purchase for the almost nothing I paid for it, I enjoyed the play through, and I’ve always enjoyed platform style games, BUT… I’m a sucker for anything that reminds me of sega master system.
This is pretty much a must have (if you didn’t get it with your purchase) for the system.  It is the most over produced game on the system. It’s basically the Mario/Duckhunt for the console.
 

arbitrary credit for gore and nudity = 0 

 

Felix the Brett 

SEGA!

Zombies Ate My Neighbors

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images

 

 

Price = 20-30 bucks

Players = 1-2 co-op
‘Will? these crazy kids survive the night? You can fend off the freaks with a virtual candy counter of weapons like uzi squirt guns, exploding soa pop, bazookas, weed wackers, and ancient artifacts. Also grab power ups-o-rama like secret potions and bobo clown decoys. Use your civtim radar viewer. DOES THIS GAME EVER END?’ -one of 6 paragraphs from the box
HOW DOES THE GAME LIVE UP TO IT’S EXPLANATION/BOX ART? (10/10)
The cover of the game just looks like an old horror movie which makes me interested instantly, and once i turn the game over and does a perfect job of explaining every single thing you are in for in this game. It actually has a WHAT, WHO, WILL, WHERE, PLAY, and basic overview.
And after putting the game in, it explained it to perfection.
HOW IS THE GAME PLAY? (9/10)
 
This game is an updated version of Alien syndrome. You select between two characters. A punk rock teenage boy with Billy Idol hair and old school 3D classes, or the Bad A– teenage girl.
The game instantly starts you out in a regular neighborhood scene with zombies everywhere, 10 neighbors to save (which is every level depending on if any die), and a stock pile of weapons and items all over. Your goal is to just save the 10 neighbors, but you can explore the entire stage and stock up on goods this game does have 55 levels of TERROR.
The game functions perfectly in single player but does have it’s small flaws with co-op, but it’s no different than every other co-op game back in the day. The game mapping only lets the screen load from character to character, meaning if you’re on one side of the screen/not moving and i’m trying to run the other way the screen will stop on your character. This sometimes causes you to get whooped on by stuff not quite in the play area of your screen yet. Which as a classic gamer, I’m used to this problem, but if you’ve never played old co-op games this is annoying.
The HUGE problem with this game is the control scheme, unless you have the 6-button sega genesis controller which I highly recommend you have anyway for all the games. But lets say you don’t. If you just have that basic factory packaged 3 button pad, you have to press two buttons (like A and B) at the same time to switch your inventory weapon, or (B and C) to switch your health/secondary items. This is a problem if you are getting bombarded with enemies because you can waste stuff on accident if you didn’t hit them perfectly. The easy fix is the 6 button pad because you can just push (X or Y) to instantly change them and not have a problem.
Other than those small details this game is amazing.
 
HOW DOES THE GAME LIVE UP TO IT’S GENRE? (10/10)
 
I love top down adventure games and this one is one of the best ones I’ve ever played. If you found yourself playing a lot of Gauntlet in the arcade, this is an amazing upgrade. If you just want a great old game to play with a buddy, this is the game to start with.
 
THE ‘GAME OVER’ ALL? (97%)
 
From beginning to end this game is a monster pile of fun. Every stage is loaded with goods, you get passcode every 4 stages if you find yourself dying a lot of need a break from the mayhem, and it’s probably one of the most fun multi-player games on the system.
This is a must own for the Sega- Genesis.
 
 
 
 
arbitrary credit for gore and nudity = 1
(for exploding monsters)
-Felix “the Brett” Prescott
Sega Master System

Shooting Gallery

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Sms-05072

 

PRICE = $2-5

PLAYERS = 1 to 2
REQUIRES = Light Phaser
‘Do you have what it takes to last through four incredibly intense Shoot ’em up games?
A Sharp eye? Steady hand? Split second-timing?
Let’s hope so, because that’s the only way you’ll survive the Shooting Gallery. ‘
HOW DOES THE GAME LIVE UP TO IT’S EXPLANATION/BOX ART? (6/10)
Well pretty much every Master system cover art is just plain horrible, but you do in fact shoot this duck in the game. So it gets a little bit of the box across, and it is telling you what the game is, so it does get some credit.
The back of the box says the same thing in a few different languages and has a few screen shots of what you will be shooting in the game with your uncomfortable Light Phaser.
Now-a-days, you know.. going backwards in game time, this game is really trying to catch your attention with it’s do you have what it takes exclamation. We will over look that because we all love light gun shooters right?
HOW IS THE GAME PLAY? (8/10)
 
As soon as you start the game, and have your Phaser in hand, you get a screen with letters on it to shoot your initials in. I thought that was pretty cool, for a game this old, even though it doesn’t really save the score. It was still a neat add on.
Then you are instantly tossed into level one followed by four more levels if you were a good enough shot. Not too many older games had a lot of different levels to shoot things, (Such as duck hunt) so i enjoyed being able to blast bullets at different things.
The game registers shots perfectly and I had a lot of fun playing this.
 
HOW DOES THE GAME LIVE UP TO IT’S GENRE? (10/10)
 
As I said before the game registers all your shots perfectly. I mean it’s always easy when you are too close to the television, but when i was as far back as the wire would let me, it still picked up shots well.
This is a straight forward light gun game. There wasn’t any story or anything, but most light gun games really don’t have one. So it lived up to what i knew i was getting into.
 
 
THE ‘GAME OVER’ ALL? (80%)
 
There’s not too much you can get out of old light gun games except a little nostalgia, but if I was in the mood to just blow away my old scores or my friends, i could probably play this game for quite a long period of time.
I loved playing all these light gun games as a child, and i still enjoyed it now, but the lack of more scenes kind of knocked me into a bored state pretty fast.
Though if i had someone else at the house playing it with me, i know i would have had a lot more fun sitting down with this game.
 
arbitrary credit for gore and nudity = 0
(Duck death and explosions.)
-Felix “the Brett” Prescott
Nintendo!

Blues Brothers

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the_blues_brothers.cover.front

 

Blues Brothers

Price = $ 30-40
Players = 1-2

“cruise along with Jake and Elwood, those all time rhythm’n’blues men in this crazy platform game, an explosive mix of adventure, comedy, and music.

Back by popular demand, the blues brothers are out to conquer the stage one more time. To an upbeat rhythm you set off across town… bit it ain’t that easy. You’ve got to escape from prison, swim through the catacombs, and shoot to the upper heights of the big city before you can start the concert. Creating chaos and confusion , you encounter Charlie, the crazy cop, and horatio, the dealy spider… get ready to play the blues!

They sent the police into a panic. They whipped the crowds into a frenzy. They redefined rock n roll music, and now.. they’re ready to do it again.”

 

HOW DOES THE GAME LIVE UP TO IT’S EXPLANATION/BOX ART? (3/10)

Well the cover looks promising, a lot of action going on, chasing after the blues brothers. The back of the box promises a lot of action adventure platforming.

Now.. when you start the game you’ll be confused, as the box says, at why you have no attack. You have a run fast option, which you will learn is the only way to get passed impossible jumps later on. But, right now, on the first stage, this game doesn’t make much sense at all. There are green spikes moving around the screen to avoid and elevator platforms that break if you stand on them too long.

The only attack I could find in the game was if you are lucky enough to have an egg drop from a bird or spider in the right place for you to run into it, so it sill strike something else. (which gives you an extra hit of damage, if you didn’t get killed trying to do it) As it turns out, Jake and Elwood can only run fast.

HOW IS THE GAME PLAY? (3/10)

Well as I just mentioned, there is virtually no attack worth wasting your time on. So the game is pretty much just avoid everything to the best of your abilities, though in some locations you can jump on a dog and ride it to kill an enemy, while in some areas it would take about ten minutes just to get the dog across the screen to kill the enemy. So, you can get passed it quicker just by getting hit.

Getting off ladders and climbing things in this game is sort of obnoxious. You have to jump off the climbable things just right or you will sacrifice a hit.

There are a few areas you can get some 1ups/extra health, but most the time isn’t really worth the time and effort, unless you’ve played the game a few times and understand the ways of movement.

HOW DOES THE GAME LIVE UP TO IT’S GENRE? (1/10)

There are a lot of platformers on Nintendo that are just amazing. This is not one of them, and unfortunately it wasn’t a highly printed game. So, it’s sort of expensive to find or to purchase. And the price tag on it is definitely not worth it’s poor game play.

THE ‘GAME OVER’ ALL? (23%)

I had played this game briefly before and never turned it back on. I was asked to beat this on a local vodcast at Arcade Legacy and stepped up to the challenge. After wanting to break things for a few days, I got the game mechanics down pretty well, but I can easily say after this play through for my own reviews site. I will never play this title again.

arbitrary credit for gore and nudity = 0

-Felix “the Brett” Prescott

Check out the video play at

Nintendo!

Baseball

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Baseball_NES_box_art

 

Baseball

Price = $ 2-5
Players = 1-2

“The most realistic baseball game outside of a ballpark!  It’s the bottom of the 9th. You’re at the plate. Here comes the pitch. You swing, It’s a smash deep into center field! A home run! It’s Nintendo Baseball. A game so real you’ll think you’re in the majors. You control the swing against a computer opponent or challenge a friend. Nintendo’s state of the art graphics and realistic game play will have you really believing you’re playing baseball. Just add peanuts, popcorn, and crackerjacks for the time of your life!”

HOW DOES THE GAME LIVE UP TO IT’S EXPLANATION/BOX ART? (10/10)

As all black box, and a couple other, Nintendo games go. The screen shot on the cover of the box is always a picture of the game play. Now an original sports game usually doesn’t promise much in the aspect of realistic anything. You can pick between like 7 teams that are all labeled a letter. Which is fine, I don’t really care who the players are. But, to say that I will feel like I’m really playing baseball? I know they mean that it will feel like I will actually be playing baseball in real life. As the case goes, I am actually playing baseball. Kind of silly wording, but really nothing to cause a problem with the score.

HOW IS THE GAME PLAY? (5/10)

Once the game starts, you’ve selected your team, and the first pitch comes in. You have very minimal things you can do. You can practice swing and move about the batter’s box. But, the batting is all timing as it should be, but after you hit the ball. There is no way to run faster, but you can steal and get in a pickle and continue to steal all the bases, because the computer will continue to toss the ball back and forth. Occasionally they will chase you down for a tag out, and the man with the ball runs about forty percent faster than you.

The fielding in the game is pretty easy if it’s a ground ball or line drive, but if the ball is hit into the outfield, the game just kicks you in the teeth. If you don’t catch it or stop it instantly, you have to drudge across the field in slow motion, and sometimes the other outfielder will get there before you. Which is obnoxiously, annoying.

HOW DOES THE GAME LIVE UP TO IT’S GENRE? (5/10)

 

Being the first baseball game on the console, it didn’t set a huge mark for best ever. Which could explain the amazing amount of baseball games on the console, but baseball is huge in America and Japan. So, since most Nintendo games were produced in Japan, it could explain a large case in why there are soooooo many.

THE ‘GAME OVER’ ALL? (67%)

The game falls into a pretty accurate grade range. A low D, is about where I would say this game should be even after playing it a lot as a child. Once bases loaded, legends of the diamond, or Baseball stars came to the market. I can say that my copy of Baseball just sat on the shelf.

arbitrary credit for gore and nudity = 0

-Felix “the Brett” Prescott

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Nintendo!

KUNG FU

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Kung Fu

Price = $ 5-10
Players = 1-2

‘Kung FU! Kick, jump and punch your way to victory in…. KUNG FU!
You’ll need lightning fast reactions to knock out the knife thrower, stop the stick fighter, and trip up the evil Tom Tom brothers in this action packed martial arts contest! Are you sure you’re tough enough? Because it’ll take all your strength and skill to master the moves in KUNG FU, beat your opponents and rescue the fair Sylvia who’s held captive on the top floor! The action is non stop, and just when you think you’ve got your enemies licked there’s always a Giant, a Snake, or a fire breathing Dragon to contend with in… KUNG FU!’

HOW DOES THE GAME LIVE UP TO IT’S EXPLANATION/BOX ART? (10/10)

The cover shot of Kung Fu is just a screen shot from the game, and in the bottom corner it tells you that you should be ready for action! The back of the game tells you pretty much what you need to know. You will be doing all of these things. I was confused at the Giant.. but then I realized that it meant that George Foreman looking guy. So, thumbs up!

HOW IS THE GAME PLAY? (10/10)

This game plays really well. It doesn’t have many mechanics other than what the box says. Kick, Jump, and punch. Basically avoid your enemies as long as possible or beat them up so they fall off the screen.

HOW DOES THE GAME LIVE UP TO IT’S GENRE? (10/10)

Kung fu kind of set a president for street brawlers in my opinion. It’s 2D of course and there were a lot of these out in the arcades at the time. But, If you never got to visit too many arcades. This is a great Brawler. After you beat the game it starts right back over and is more challenging. There is also another game mode which is more difficult if you are that kind of gamer!

THE ‘GAME OVER’ ALL? (100%)

Now the only complaint I would think would come to mind with the game is that it is short. But, as a child I would play this game for hours and enjoy it. It’s sort of difficult for beginners, but you’ll learn it quick!

arbitrary credit for gore and nudity = 0

-Felix “the Brett” Prescott

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